Editor’s Note: This letter to the editor piece was submitted by Patrick Brown, a resident of Farragut Terrace, following Vice President Mike Pence’s visit of St. Francis de Sales School on Wednesday.
Neighbors rallying outside of St. Francis de Sales School on Wednesday (Photo by West Philly Local).
I was chatting with a neighbor a couple of months after moving to my house on Farragut Terrace. OK, to be honest, I was griping about the inconveniences of living so close to a school. She, in response, agreed, lamenting that at times she also felt like St. Francis de Sales School treats our block like its own personal back alley. That was six years ago, and though the regular frustrations have yet to dwindle entirely, I do accept that I chose to live next door to a school. But on Wednesday, the grievances once again came to the fore. As the current administration’s campaign bus idled for two hours just a few yards from my front door, I began feeling worthless.
I am a Catholic. At just a few weeks old, my parents brought me to their local parish to be baptized. At some point in second grade, I knelt quietly in a dimly lit confessional as my father waited outside. The priest had to prompt me to begin because no one had told me that sound of the wooden door sliding across the screen was the cue to intone the words “Bless me, father, for I have sinned.” A few months later, I made a felt banner, donned a small blue blazer and clip-on tie, and received my first Holy Communion. On a beautiful late-spring day at the age of fourteen, I was confirmed. For seventeen years, I attended Catholic schools – kindergarten all the way through my senior year of college. Every single one of my weekends and the occasional Holy Day of Obligation while growing up were punctuated by the hour (or less if I was lucky) spent at Mass. I could probably count on just one hand the number of times I missed Mass, and each time my mother made sure that absolution was sought and received.
I list my credentials because I feel that my Catholic identity could at any moment be called into question. You see, in addition to being Catholic, I am also gay. Just over three years ago on the weekend following the 2016 election, I celebrated my wedding in my living room, not a church, and no priest was there to officiate. It’s even unclear if a priest could simply be present. In the eyes of the Church, I live in a state of mortal sin, and the love and fidelity that I pledged that Saturday night to my now husband is deemed representative of an intrinsic moral disorder. This pains me.
Some more cynical might mock me for the emotional attachment that I have for the Catholic Church. Faith and reason are of course often at odds. But as Blaise Pascal wrote, “The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.” (I would be remiss if I didn’t thank my brother for reminding me, someone who studied French literature at the graduate level, of that quote.) Others might suggest that I find a more welcoming church. I have no doubt that there are many. However, Catholicism suffuses every part of my being. Much like Judaism for my husband, it serves as an immutable point of reference which colors my outlook on life and calibrates my moral compass. It governs my traditions and marks important milestones. And as the descendant of Irish immigrants, it even forms an inseparable part of my ethnic identity. I cannot and will not throw the baby out with the bathwater. I was, after all, taught “to fight and not to heed the wounds.”
What gives me the greatest solace in spite of the hostility is ironically the Church’s teachings on social justice. As a Catholic, I feel it imperative to stand with the poor and the marginalized. To feed the hungry. To clothe the naked. I could list more works of mercy. I had to memorize them in seventh or eighth-grade religion class. But the entirety of the Church’s teachings is succinctly summed up in Christ’s commandment: “Love your neighbor.”
The funny thing is, my husband and I are some of the Church’s most immediate neighbors. Literally. Our home sits only a few doors from St. Francis de Sales School, the Catholic school in West Philadelphia which on Wednesday hosted Vice President Mike Pence, a noted homophobe. The invitation, which school principal Sr. Mary McNulty “gladly” extended, stung. Initially, of course, there was the anger of not being informed – no parking signs appeared on the block Tuesday morning; it was only later that evening when speaking to a neighbor that I learned of Pence’s visit. But upon reflection, what I find most wounding, is that the bigot who spoke in the auditorium which overlooks my backyard was like me raised Catholic, but unlike me, turned away from the Church and embraced evangelical Protestantism. That is an action that in the view of an institution that decries moral relativity is no less of a grave error. (And in the words of my husband in reference to the woman who gave birth to Pence, not his wife, “Oy, his poor mother!”) Yet he is welcome; I am not. Moral relativity is evidently permissible when politically expedient.
Well, I toiled all Tuesday night without rest, and I labored all Wednesday morning without reward. Signs were hastily crafted, sidewalks and streets chalked, rainbow flags hung. And while I took charge of sprucing up the outside of our house in advance of Pence’s visit, my husband penned a letter to Sr. Mary expressing our outrage and hurt feelings. Our goal and those of others on our block, Catholic or not, was to teach the ignorant on Wednesday afternoon that all love is a virtue and that your neighbor is not an abstract idea.
We’ve yet to hear from Sr. Mary in reply. We would like to think that it is because running a school is undoubtedly a tough job. Our door, Sister, is always open if you knock.
– Patrick Brown (brownpatrickf@gmail.com)
February 7th, 2020 at 9:09 pm
As neighbors who live right next to the primary school on Springfield Ave,my husband and I agree with you about the disregarded and disrespect shown to neighbors new and old by de Sales. I feel the school administration has no regard for those living around them and that is very sad. I sent an email to the school, as did my husband expressing the same concerns you express with no hope of ever hearing from Sr. McNulty or anyone else connected to the school. We are truly an afterthought. How do we change this? I would like to.
February 7th, 2020 at 11:58 pm
Sr. McNulty and the archdiocese, has provided Mike Pence the opportunity to be viewed as someone who stands with and/or speaks for Catholic Americans – he does not. De Sales was used by the Trump administration to seem more diverse and inclusive, one need only look at the school’s demographics in comparison to those of and those who support the Trump administration. For shame on Sr. McNulty and the archdiocese allowing themselves to be so flagrantly used.
Sr. McNulty, please remember that Catholic school educators should be guided by the philosophy of cura personalis. How has Mike Pence’s visit, his political stance, and the fact that you sold out, to help de Sales students to grow academically, spiritually, and emotionally?
February 8th, 2020 at 10:11 am
Oh my goodness! The pro-life, pro-traditional marriage Catholic Church invited a bigoted government official who might’ve have left the Catholic Church for evangelical Protestantism. One must feel outrage, express hurt feelings, and teach the ignorant; all the while expressing a love your neighbor attitude. I am not Catholic although I share many of its moral positions. Others pile on that the church because of its patent disregard and disrespect of neighbors and should be ashamed. The church’s commitment to cura personalis comes from it’s a prior commitment to what it believes is revealed and transcendent truth. Does that really surprise anyone? The church believes in the quaint, old-fashioned notion of “sin” as the letter writer admits in recognizing “mortal sin.” We still live in a nation of religious freedom, freedom of religion and freedom from religion.
No one is coerced to follow the church’s teaching. No one should expect the church to march to the progressive agenda and lobby. Live and let live means the church operates as a church according to its beliefs and resultant worldview, not by neighborhood consensus. Individuals are free to join or abstain. They should not have the expectation that the church will embrace that which is contrary to their understanding of what God has said or change to suit them. No one needs to believe that God has said anything important or relevant for our modern times. Or even believe there is a God. Freedom of conscience works both ways. Live your life how and with whom you want. Don’t expect or demand that others applaud you. Telling the truth, as the church sees it, is one of the most loving things they can do. Pascal also said: “We view things not only from different sides, but with different eyes; we have no wish to find them alike.” Of course in saying this I might be branded by some as homophobe, transphobe, troll, hater, etc. which will not surprise me. However, there may be some who understand better what it means to “vivre ensemble.” Love your neighbor does not mean see things the way I see them or you are ignorant.
February 8th, 2020 at 11:13 am
Writin’is fightin’. In this case that moral giant named West Philly is fighting for ignorance, oppression and bigotry! The irony of their claims is apparently lost on them…
February 8th, 2020 at 11:25 am
Dear Dennis,
I am Catholic. (8 years of ES at SFDS, 4 of HS at West Catholic).
I was a long time Farragut Street neighbor and sent my children to SFDS & WC.
I am hopelessly heterosexual and recognize that it makes my life ‘easier’without limiting my joy in the good relationships that other Adults, have built.
One of my favorite couples, of longest standing, and “until death, …” was of beloved neighbor Fred to Gary.
I am sorry and befuddled by SFDS’s choice to host Pence.
Almost all of the other Alumni I know are appalled.
I am glad you extended an invitation to Sr. Mary McNulty.
I do not want to limit Religious Freedom, or personal belief, but… I think it is reasonable to say “keep it in your school”. Your belief should not permit you to post armed snipers on a rooftop less than 100 feet from my front door.
You may not take away my parking, or incite a riot on my front steps.
I love the work that SFDS does. The students are 70% not-Catholic. Many are refugees or children of refugees. With a small Campus and little funding they achieve amazing successes in Math, Music, Art and Sports.
They have created a nationally recognized PEACE PROGRAM.
I hope and pray that they will learn “Love is Love” and our country was built upon and needs a “Separation of Church and State.
Your husband sounds like a very smart guy.
Hugs dear neighbor.
February 8th, 2020 at 11:34 am
@ American Dream – And TOLERANCE – which you have in short supply. Your way or the highway. Agree you ignorant, oppressive bigots or we will force you to violate your conscience. If you think homosexuality is unnatural, you are homophobic. If you think there are only men and women and nothing really changes that, you are transphobic. If you think babies in the womb shouldn’t be killed, keep your hands off my body. If you don’t accept my moral choices, you are a backward bigot and throwback to a Victorian age. If you don’t practice social justice as I do you probably have white privilege or are a closet racist. If you don’t capitulate to our lobby and agenda, else I will rant and rave, protest in the streets and call you bad things, then go to my safe lace. Ho-hum. Yawn. It becomes repetitive and tiring. AD you don’t reason well, mostly rant. For a moment imagine that you might be guilty of how you described me. Of course, I wouldn’t call you that because I believe you have the right to believe anything you want or nothing at all. Just don’t expect others to fall in line through coercion. That’s freedom! Enjoy it!
February 8th, 2020 at 8:29 pm
@West Philly re your first post: please review what the Pope has said about the Trump administration and the current interpretation of Catholic dogma. Catholic schools are obligated to follow the Pope and promote the teaching of the Church.
What the OP, Mr. Brown, was commenting on was the duplicity of the situation.
To leave the Catholic faith is considered very serious. To leave for a Protestant faith, is to deny the fundamental teaching of transubstantion.
You mentioned you are not Catholic, so I understand that you might see this as a freedom of religion issue but it is more nuanced than that.
It is also about how American Catholics are perceived – our political spectrum tends to be moderate to liberal. Every modern Catholic struggles to live the teachings of the Church, but you can’t change an organization from the outside. Mr. Brown is definitely fulfilling the modern-day mission of the Church – faith in action.
I speak as a Catholic, as one who attended Catholic schools from kindergarten through grad school, and as one who taught in Catholic schools for a decade.
February 11th, 2020 at 2:10 pm
Thank you Nini, thank you Mr Brown for enriching this space.
February 12th, 2020 at 11:41 am
This is a very thoughtful piece. Thank you, Patrick, for sharing these thoughts in a public forum. My experience with the Catholic Church is very similar to yours and I appreciate your taking the time to explain your point of view with honesty and grace.