Jessica at ease at The Woodlands. She doesn’t like your dog as much as you do. Photo by Lori Waselchuk.
The tension between those who walk their dogs off-leash at The Woodlands and those who wish they wouldn’t is kind of the west-of-the-Schuylkill version of the Hatfields and the McCoys, Liam and Noel Gallagher, Biggie and Tupac. That may be overstating it slightly, but it’s kind of a big deal to many who frequent the cemetery/park.
Jessica, a West Philly yoga instructor and blogger, has had it. In “An Open Letter to People Who Let Their Dogs Off-Leash at Woodlands Cemetery,” she draws a line in the dirt. “I was once a vicious 13-year old girl,” she writes. “And given the right situation, she can return.”
Jessica originally posted this on her site, but has graciously allowed us to repost it here:
Dear Friends and Neighbors,
Let’s cut right to the chase.
When I am running at Woodlands Cemetery, trying to lose the last vestiges of my winter gut so I can fit into this year’s Disney Princess Halloween costume, and I see your off-leash dog, here are some thoughts that do NOT go through my head:
“Oh my gosh, what a cutie!”
“Is that a Staffordshire Terrier or a Black-mouth Cur?”
“I should stop and pet that sweetie pie.”
There is only one thing I think and it’s this:
“I hope that dog doesn’t bite or maul me.”
I did not grow up with dogs, do not currently own a dog, and do not plan to ever own a dog. No, I am not a dog person. However, I respect your right to have a dog. I respect your right to love that dog more than 99.9% of the humans you know, to buy it gluten-free, all-natural, organic treats from BONeJOUR Pet Supply and Dog Wash, to hand-embroider a personalized Christmas stocking for it (or give it 8 days of Chanukah gifts, as you will), to treat it with Prozac or chemo or whatever it needs for optimum health. But I do NOT respect your right to let your dog run off-leash at Woodlands Cemetery. Because you don’t have that right.
I quote directly from the Woodlands website:
“All dogs MUST be on a leash. No exceptions. Owners are required to pick up after their dogs.”
I understand that your dog is special. I understand that your dog is peaceful and benign and would never ever ever ever bite or maul someone in this life or the next. Just like I’m never going to age or die but everyone else is. See, I’m special too. We have something in common! I understand that you are frustrated with me for just not getting how special your dog is. But this does not change the rule.
When I see your off-leash dog, I feel unsafe and scared. Like I said, I don’t have happy childhood memories of frolicking with Bo on the beach or that time we took Rocky all the way to Florida in the car and he thought South of the Border was just the greatest place on earth. My strongest association with dogs are:
The time I got bit by one.
The time one mauled my then 5-year old son at Clark Park. (And I wasn’t even there- his babysitter was with him. Which is probably a blessing because I might have tried to maul the owner, whom I was told was a sturdily-built man.)
Is it starting to make sense?
If yes, great. You can stop reading here. If no, please hear me:
These are some phrases that people have used to describe me:
“sunny disposition’
“cheerful”
“too happy”
But you know what? I’m kind of like those dogs that seem so nice and then one day go berserk and kill someone. For all the yoga and meditation and Work On Myself that I’ve done, I was once a vicious 13-year old girl and given the right situation, she can return.
So, bearing that in mind, if your off-leash dog bites, mauls, or harms me in any way, I will go to the yellow pages and find the sleaziest, cheesiest lawyer ad in there. I will hire a lawyer with an ill-fitting toupee, bad breath, a suit from Sears and an online degree. I will develop Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Other Specified Anxiety Disorder, Unspecified Anxiety Disorder, PTSD, and maybe Excoriation (Skin-Picking) Disorder for good measure. Together my morally-bankrupt, money-hungry attorney and I will file a lawsuit against you. I will take your house, car, and firstborn. I will enlist Grace O’Donnell to sell your house and with the proceeds I will open a yoga retreat center on the Nicoya Peninsula of Costa Rica. I will honor your contribution with a 10 x 13 portrait in the lobby. Your firstborn will work the desk. Hell, I might even let you stay a week for free, if you can afford the airfare after I’ve taken your house, car, and firstborn.
And here’s the thing. I’m not some kind of law-and-order maniac. I break rules all the time. I jaywalk. I put my trash out before 6 pm. As a cyclist, nary a day goes by that I don’t run at least one stop sign. But I know that if I get hit by a car, that’s my own dumb fault. And I know that if I hit you, you can hire the aforementioned lawyer and take my house, (sorry no car), and firstborn. He has excellent people, dish-washing, and computer skills. That’s the beauty of America. God bless it.
Lastly, here is a picture of me so when your dog is off-leash and you see me coming, you can put it back on the leash. It was even taken at Woodlands Cemetery! Admittedly, I am not usually smiling nor does my hair look this coiffed and glossy when I am running, but you get the general idea.
Don’t I look like a nice lady?
Well I’m not.
xoxo
Jessica
September 30th, 2015 at 2:52 pm
Isn’t Woodland’s Cemetery liable if they do not provide adequate enforcement of rules within the law on their privately owned property? A security guard would solve the problem, or the city could dispatch a patrol to enforce leash laws also.
September 30th, 2015 at 3:19 pm
Please don’t put your trash out before 6:00PM
September 30th, 2015 at 3:37 pm
YES. I so agree. This especially bothers me at Clark Park. Yes, people treat it like a dog park and it will probably never change but I get so, so, nervous seeing all the off leash dogs when there are little kids running around too. I hate when I can’t let my toddler run around in the bowl because there are so many off leash dogs around and I’m worried about him getting hurt.
September 30th, 2015 at 3:47 pm
The Woodlands gets treated as a dog park at the moment.
September 30th, 2015 at 3:54 pm
So, wait, dog-owners should keep their dogs on a leash since someone might get hurt, but the author should be free to run red lights on her bike even though someone else might get hurt? What if she runs into a child crossing the street?
For the record, I agree that dogs should be on the leash since that’s the cemetary rules. But don’t say that running red lights while on a bike is ok.
September 30th, 2015 at 3:55 pm
stupid yuppies are 100% ruining philly.
September 30th, 2015 at 3:56 pm
Your rationale for making these demands of dog walkers is a little flawed. If you support breaking the law when the law seems silly to you (running the occasional stop sign, putting trash out before 6pm), then why can’t I break the law when the law seems silly to me (having to put my pug on a leash when I know he won’t stray from my side and is probably physically too small to hurt anyone even if he wanted to). The fact that you are scared of dogs because some dogs have been mean to you is fine, but also something you might want to work through rather than trying to change the behavior of others. Some people are mean to me – it doesn’t mean I hate all people. And you can’t dictate which laws other people are and are not obliged to follow based on which ones happen to make the most sense to you, personally.
September 30th, 2015 at 4:08 pm
Am I right to assume she’s Philadelphia Magazine’s target demographic
September 30th, 2015 at 4:09 pm
I wholeheartedly agree, although I love dogs and have owned several. I now have an infant, and the off-leash dogs in the Woodlands and the park are scary because a dog owner who doesn’t feel like obeying leash laws might neglect to do other things responsible pet owners should do, e.g. obedience training and vaccinations. And as for those “nice dogs who would never hurt anyone”: I know two children with lifelong disfigurements from “nice dogs.” I love dogs, but you just never know.
September 30th, 2015 at 4:14 pm
This letter is… SOSOUGH… but I 100% agree with the sentiment. As someone whose on-leash dog (that was 100% minding-its-own-beeswax) and was attacked by a larger off leash dog I would urge you all to PLEASE PLEASE keep your dog on leash. My dog now does not like off-lease dogs running up to it, nor do I. It’s just so so inconsiderate and irresponsible. You live in a city, put your dog on a leash or use a dog park. Otherwise you suck, basically.
September 30th, 2015 at 4:23 pm
@LeaveWestPhillyCrackers.. I agree that people like this woman are annoying as shit, but I just choose to ignore them rather than spout some bullshit racist rhetoric to the internet. Having said that, calling a blogger/yoga instructor a yuppie is giving her way too much credit.
September 30th, 2015 at 4:24 pm
I generally didn’t mind dogs off leash in woodlands, until one day I was running, and an off-leash tinydog darted out from nowhere across my path. I was able to stop in time, but that pooch narrowly missed being crushed by 200 pounds of sweaty running guy, which I would have felt really bad about. The leash is protection for the dog as much as it is for other people/dogs/animals.
September 30th, 2015 at 4:39 pm
My very large dog was attacked by another very large dog.
Both of them were on leashes. Leashes don’t prevent bad things from
happening, but it definitely makes them less likely to happen.
September 30th, 2015 at 4:44 pm
They also poop and pee everywhere, including on the graves. And it’s also obvious that a significant proportion of owners have absolutely no voice control over their dogs.
September 30th, 2015 at 4:46 pm
I agree the dog should be on a leash, for a myriad of reasons… And if the owner doesn’t care about other people, he should at least care about concept of his dog seeing a squirrel and chasing it into the street. And I understand, to an extent, being scared of dogs. I got bit in the eye by an adorable little Jack Russell as a child, and his lucky aim that his teeth went in a circle around my eyeball instead of striking the actual eyeball, and the fact that I also had my own dogs as a kid, are likely the only 2 reasons I’m not terrified of them… But her letter is straight up ridiculous. And obnoxious, yeesh.
And the running red lights on your bike on a daily basis – get a grip woman. She’s probably one of those people who barely slows down at a 4 way stop with cars there and pedestrians actively in the middle of the street crossing. I don’t think I can count the number of times I’ve had to stop in the middle of the street so some person on a bike can pedal by in front of me. If I was walking with a toddler, I’d sure be furious about that – you know, toddlers in the middle of the road and all that danger. But, you know, she’s so much smarter than us, so she gets to decide which rules everybody has to follow, I guess.
September 30th, 2015 at 4:49 pm
i love dogs and therefor like to make sure they aren’t euthanized for being dogs and accidentally breaking skin when they have high prey drives so I completely agree that everyone must keep their dogs on a damn leash. Plus, if I see one more ass letting their dog desecrating someone’s grave… Ohhh man!!!!
September 30th, 2015 at 5:32 pm
My reactive dog also requests that you keep your dog on a leash. We’re fine as long as you stay a few feet away and keep walking. The minute your friendly dog tries to sniff my not-friendly dog’s butt, things will be very much not fine.
September 30th, 2015 at 5:42 pm
It must be tough when you think so highly of yourself and are obviously so right about everything, and yet you have people and animals who won’t do just what you feel they should be doing. And don’t let anyone convince you that it’s ignorant, selfish, and boorish to ride your bike carelessly or to leave your trash out early. You are YOU and YOU are GLORIOUS! If a dog has made you frightened, then all dogs should be bound up and their freedom taken away, because, well, YOU! Meanwhile please know that if you think the off leash dogs are scary, you’re stupid: the off leash dogs are socialized and friendly and have good owners. If the offleash dogs are aggressive and out of control, they ditch their owners in a heartbeat. Meanwhile, the on-leash dogs, if you pay a little attention, are most often the most aggressive and worrisome. And if they feel like chucking the leash, they can and have and will do so in the blink of an eye. Unlike you, most dogs are very sociable, cooperative, and nice to other beings. Dogs are far less likely to be aggressive, in short, than you.
September 30th, 2015 at 5:50 pm
PS Jessica. Exhibit A: PhillyBrownDog above: I bet he keeps his aggressive dog on a leash but do know that if something really sets that do off, he will bust away before the owner can say namaste. Like people, not all dogs are civil and generous to others; thankfully most are.
September 30th, 2015 at 5:59 pm
While I sit quietly in the cemetery (with my unleashed service dog dog next to me) thinking of my family past, I am disturbed by the runners and bikers who think they own the road / walk way. My dog protects me from harm. He is NOT required to be on a leash. I have PTSD the continuous barrage of people running in my direction causes me stress. The last thing I would want is for you to stop and talk…. But you can get out of your self-centric entitlement and go run elsewhere. I don’t look nice… But I am
September 30th, 2015 at 6:58 pm
So we’re moderating comments to keep things civil. We eliminated some offensive comments.
This is an ongoing issue that needs discussion. Here is some background, including The Woodlands’ own efforts to raise the leash policy awareness.
https://www.westphillylocal.com/2014/05/22/the-woodlands-introduces-dog-walker-program-to-raise-leash-policy-awareness/
Here’s a story about a dog attacking another dog there a couple of years ago:
https://www.westphillylocal.com/2013/03/01/a-dog-attacked-bitten-by-another-dog-at-woodlands-cemetery/
September 30th, 2015 at 7:08 pm
Well I don’t have a dog however, I take issue with people worshiping SATAN in our local cemetery and calling it “yoga” what the heavens is she doing that there? Exactly how many “lines” is she drawing in the dirt – are they connecting at points? My conservative neighbors – wouldn’t you say that this is more of an issue than a few dogs running around? You can be fooled if you want to, but last I checked evil can wear yoga pants and neon too! Let’s be honesty if we replaced this picture with a black women wearing all black and a bone in her nose, don’t you think THIS woman would be writing in complaining that she is concern about her child’s soul? Leash your dog when children are around yes.. but don’t unleash your evil…read a book, have a picnic – certainly not a place to exercise your spirits.
September 30th, 2015 at 7:26 pm
Why not just designate one section of the cemetery as a leash-free dog run and be done with it? In the mean time, there are lots of other places in Philly to run.
PS: There appears to be a lot more dangerous humans then dogs causing harm in the neighborhood.
September 30th, 2015 at 7:49 pm
Why let them loose in the cemetery when there is the Clark Park Dog Bowl?
September 30th, 2015 at 7:53 pm
Christ on a cracker, it’s the battle of the insufferables up in here.
September 30th, 2015 at 7:55 pm
As a West Philly dog owner, I actually agree with OP in theory. I have an immaculately trained “bomb proof” dog who was trained to be reliable off-leash from the time he was 4 months old. Guess who’s never off-leash in West Philly? The one dog I know for -sure- is reliable off-leash, because I don’t trust ANYONE ELSE’S DOG. I once compared dog parks to driving: be defensive and assume everyone else around you is a drunk moron. Yes. I wish people in places like the Woodlands and Clark Park would put their dogs on leashes.
What I DO take issue with this is condescending, holier-than-thou attitude. Holy cow, that post was incredibly hard to read. Holy cow do I -never- want to have to know this person in real life.
You know what makes me NOT want to take what you say seriously? The way you talk/type to the other people in your neighborhood.
You know what makes -me- feel incredibly unsafe? Bicyclists who run stop signs, red lights, and generally ignore the rules of the road. When I’m biking myself, walking, driving… Any response to how you make me feel, OP? Gonna start stopping at all those stop signs?
It’s true you catch more flies with vinegar, irl, but you can’t be mad when everything smells like vinegar. What an awful, awful post. And shame on West Philly Local for giving this woman a soapbox. I thought we aimed for more civil discourse.
September 30th, 2015 at 7:59 pm
Um, I never said it was okay for me to break rules. I just told you about some that I break. Let he who is without blame cast the first stone. I’m not without blame, and you’re probably not either.
But on a happier note, you are now all officially invited to stay at my yoga retreat center for a week. And what the hell, bring your dog too. xoxo
September 30th, 2015 at 8:05 pm
I don’t feel strongly about either side of the off-leash argument, but after reading all of the above attacks on the writer (who I don’t know personally) I just wanted to tell her that I think this post is hilarious. Don’t let them make you rethink your sunny disposition (or Disney Princess costume). #Hatersgonnahate.
September 30th, 2015 at 9:19 pm
I find it a bit odd that people are assaulting the author and calling her opinion in valid because she is “breaking the law,” and cite her saying she runs red lights. She didn’t say that? She said she runs STOP SIGNS, which you are actually allowed to, as long as you slow down (which admittedly, many many bikers just zip by). So, stop that fight….
I do agree people need to stop with off leash dogs. For one, I personally have been chased recently by a number of dogs so whenever there is one off leash I get extremely anxious. I know for experience now, that anxiety makes dogs more likely to act out (they can smell fear! or the like). But regardless, it’s the rule? If the rule was all dogs must wear funny clothes, we would all say that’s silly, but the Woodlands made it, so you better follow it!
A yoga picture was probably not the best in terms of trying to relate to the readers. It does make you seem holier than thou, though I’m sure (I hope!) that’s not what you were trying to go for…
September 30th, 2015 at 10:26 pm
Truth be told I applaud your humor!!! I’ve also had some close calls with unleashed dogs. I’m physically challenged and walk with the aide of a cane.I understand your fear.I’m not sure advertising your intent to bring a lawsuit and openly advertisung your criteria for it is your smartest maneuver (I’m not a lawyer-but I don’t think that was a smart move!).Your use of sarcasm as humour when afraid – thanks for saying how some of us feel when we come in contact with someone’s little furry baby ,who to us could whind up being cujo’s 2nd.cousin when he/she meets a stranger.
October 1st, 2015 at 5:50 am
What about all those off leash cats? Those guys need to be dealt with. Seriously this persons ego needs to be on a leash. Ya, dogs owners do stupid things, and yes dogs are unpredictable, but to continually go to a specific place to run where you know it’s going to have some potential Cujo moment is… Well… Pretty lame. Find a new place to run, stop being so entitled, and self centered, and have some common sense.
October 1st, 2015 at 7:32 am
We have dogs and run regularly at The Woodlands. Our dog who runs with us is never, ever off leash. She is not allowed to go to the bathroom on graves, although she’s too busy running to try. She also doesn’t care about meeting you and is terrified of you, a stranger (but would never bark and growl like you are). People do things that bother us. We can’t change other people but we can change how we respond to them. Jessica, what has been the response when you calmly and kindly ask or remind the owner about leashing his or her dog? This post feels like an attempt at inflammatory humor and a publicity stunt for your blog because, really, do you think this is the way to make change in the world? It’s just nasty, not funny to me, and I feel sad that you are so angry.
October 1st, 2015 at 8:58 am
@46Spruce — I think you might be mistaken about the stop sign rules for bicyclists. My understanding is that while there are some places in the country where there are separate rules for bicyclists, bicyclists in Philly essentially need to follow the same rules as cars.
See, for example: http://www.phila.gov/philacode/html/_data/title12/
where the first section of bicycle regulations states: “Every person riding a bicycle upon a highway shall have all the rights and shall be subject to all of the duties applicable to an operator under the provisions of this Title and The Vehicle Code.” The chapter goes on to amend some things for bicyclists, but not the requirement to stop at stop signs.
Also: http://bicyclecoalition.org/ride-your-bike/bike-laws/philadelphia-bike-laws/#sthash.CpHKyMmj.dpbs
That seems to be the state of things now, though this guy advocates for a change: http://thisoldcity.com/policy/philly-cyclists-dont-fully-stop-stop-signs-and-they-shouldnt-have#.Vg0tSHpViko
October 1st, 2015 at 9:05 am
“I was once a vicious 13 year old……….” Look out. I should really be scared in case you turn into a 13 year old over a dog leash. You are one soul this world could do without. And props to WPL for producing this garbage….
October 1st, 2015 at 9:11 am
You took off a paraphrase of her own open letter.
As stated We should look out for her breaking the laws on her bike and if she hits you Well Karma is a B
October 1st, 2015 at 11:34 am
I’ll admit it! I’m someone who walks my dogs off leash in the Woodlands. Its one of the only accessible places where I can easily let them run. I do it in the early morning (often before 7 am) when no one else is around. I see another walker/runner/dog person I do my best to get them back on leash ASAP. Are they perfect and obedient? No. Is it against the rules? yes. If I’m there at other popular times and there are many people, then they are on leash. I always pick up after them. To me, its the best compromise for an urban dog person.
I hear that other people are not dog people. I hear that terrible things happen when dogs are off leash. But I’m also a human, and your neighbor and for someone to tell me they’re going to legally destroy my life and do everything in their power to make me miserable for a choice I’m making, well, you’re right–you’re not a nice person.
My hope would be that when people see dogs off leash and are upset by it a friendly “hey neighbor–would you mind leashing up?” is all thats needed instead of a hateful diatribe from behind a computer screen.
October 1st, 2015 at 12:03 pm
As a dog owner, just don’t walk it off leash. I will be honest. I will sometimes go to places where I can let the dog off leash that are not dog parks. They are places like an empty beach in February or well off the path along the Wissahickon, some place where you have to scramble down a steep embankment in order to get to. Not ever someplace where someone who does not want to run into a dog off leash should wonder without seeing the dog from at least 1/4 mile away.
Woodlands Cemetery is not one of those places.
October 1st, 2015 at 12:32 pm
>My hope would be that when people see dogs off leash and are upset by it a friendly “hey neighbor–would you mind leashing up?”
I do this, and get ignored all the time, along with the WTF looks.
October 1st, 2015 at 1:02 pm
I agree this post came across as a bit snarky, but I imagine it was meant to be funny and over-the-top. I could not agree more with the sentiment. While I am not scared of all dogs, I feel uncomfortable around any off-leash dog that I do not know (and have on one occasion been bitten by a dog that the owner swore was “always so friendly!” — which of course is what owners always say after their dog bites someone).
Off-leash dogs simply do not belong in public, urban places. As for the Woodlands, this is not an opinion but a fact — off leash dogs are clearly not allowed by the Woodlands regulations, so the question is not up for debate. I feel that neighbors who let their dogs off the leash in public urban areas (even out on the sidewalks sometimes!) are inconsiderate of their neighbors and even taking good care of their own dogs. Please just don’t do it. Part of living in an urban environment is compromising and sharing with others. I’m about to become a parent for the first time, and while in the past I have been annoyed but fairly quiet about off-the-leash dogs, usually resorting to a dirty look and moving on without causing a scene, please believe that if your dog ever approaches my baby I will be calling the police on the spot.
As I see it, urban dog owners that want to let their dogs roam free can choose to either:
-move to the suburbs so they can have a big yard
-stop owning dogs
-use designated dog parks.
Those really are the options. Infringing on the rights and safety of your neighbors is not a valid option. I realize this is frustrating, but if you have made the choice to live in West Philly and own a dog, both of those decisions were yours, and you need to own those decisions. City living requires compromises from all of us. Dog owners are no exception. And since the law is not on your side, please stop trying to make the rest of us feel bad for expecting you to follow the law. Your dog’s exercise needs are your own concern, and should not be inflicted on the rest of the community.
October 1st, 2015 at 2:19 pm
Seems pretty clear:
§10-104. Animals Running at Large and Vicious Animals. [5]
(1) No person shall permit any animal other than a cat to go at large upon any street, public place or private property other than the property of the owner of the animal. All animals using any street, public place or private property of anyone other than the owner of the animal shall be on a leash not exceeding six (6) feet in length including the handgrip but excluding the collar and accompanied by a person able to fully control the animal at all times.
Horses shall be exempt from the provision requiring a leash but shall under this Section require proper rein and bit or halter and lead shank.
Any animal running at large in violation of this ordinance shall be seized by any animal control officer or police officer and delivered to an appropriate area of confinement approved by the Department of Public Health.
(2) Any animal which is vicious may be seized by any police officer or any authorized animal control officer and may be humanely destroyed at the discretion of the Department of Public Health after a reasonable effort[6] has been made to notify the owner.
October 1st, 2015 at 2:27 pm
There is a wonderful, large dog park at 46th and Chester. It’s members only, but it doesn’t take much to become a member. Dogs are encouraged and welcomed to run off leash there. There are many places in the city that are designated for dogs to run off leash. If the rule at the Woodlands is to keep a dog on a leash, than just follow the rules. It shouldn’t be this complicated.
October 1st, 2015 at 4:04 pm
That was a waste of my time. You wasted your time. [deleted] Maybe dogs don’t like you because you’re a horrible person who doesn’t know what it’s like to love something. You’re what’s wrong in this world.
October 1st, 2015 at 8:08 pm
@Nb (September 30th, at 7:26 pm): You asked, “Why not just designate one section of the cemetery as a leash-free dog run and be done with it?”
The answer is very simple. IT IS NOT A DOG RUN. IT IS NOT A PARK. IT IS A CEMETERY. Dogs excreting on graves? Not so respectful, I think, huh? Do you? Do you think?
If I had a dog and very bad manners, I would be happy to declare your living room a leash-free dog run. But I don’t have a dog, and I do believe I have more consideration for my fellow humans than you do.
October 1st, 2015 at 10:10 pm
This entire self entitled attitude, full on attacking others because she is ‘better’ than everyone else and is what…a prophet in west philadelphia because she does yoga? Is a serious joke. It’s unfair to point the blame at others for her unfortunate past experiences with dogs. That dog isn’t every other dog, nor is her presence more warranted than anyone else’s at Woodland. Yeah, she’s not *perfect* because she “takes out her trash before 6pm”, oh, wait, lets all bow down to this zenned out, chill chick cause she is SO right. Eye for an eye, rule broken for rule broken, if she’s uncomfortable to do her yoga stuff there, maybe she shouldn’t do it there. Cause as far as I’m aware, the Woodlands cemetary has been around since bout 1840 and I dont think that she was one of the founding mothers that set the guidelines as to which rules really need be abided by. Get over yourself, take your commentary and complaints to Rittenhouse, you’ll probably fare much better around petty individuals. This is sickening. Stop wasting your time and ‘zen’, girl. Honestly.
October 2nd, 2015 at 10:34 am
Dog owners who do not believe ghey should follow he leash laws! Please read!
I have an adopted dog. A lovely, people and cat friendly animal who needs to be walked. Needs fresh air. I keep her restrained to her less than 6 ft leash. You friendly off leash dog runs over to mine to say, “hello!” And you yell, “its okay! She is friendly!” In a panic, I yell back, “mine is not! She will kill your dog!”. So, I shouldnt allow this rescue fresh air because I am following the rules and you are not? Leash your dog, take it to a dog park where it can run free or buy a house with a yard. If we all follow sensible laws we have no problems.
October 3rd, 2015 at 8:11 pm
As a huge dog lover & future veterinarian, it drives me crazy to see all the off-leash dogs there, too. My dog has been attacked twice in Philadelphia by “nice” off-leash dogs. One attack left her with permanent scarring, the other one just scared her. If your dog is off-leash AND better behaved than an on-leash dog, then that’s fine in my eyes – that means your dog runs to your side and heels the instant you call.
And it’s not exactly considered respectful to let your dog piss & shit on someone’s grave. Woodlands is not just a historic cemetery – people are getting buried there all the time. The path is for walking on, NOT THE GRAVES.
October 4th, 2015 at 8:57 pm
I hope you hit me on your bicycle. Then your lawyer can meet my lawyer. I’ll make sure to step in front of you if I see you cruising by.
October 4th, 2015 at 9:12 pm
My lawyer wears bespoke suits, not Sears suits. But maybe your lawyer can show you how to exchange Lululemon and Athleta for Sears yoga pants. I think humbling yourself would help your chakra. (My dog is always leashed in Woodlands, so the lawsuit will be for the PTSD I get from the bike accident.)
October 8th, 2015 at 9:50 am
This is amazing how many people are getting angry over what is really just proper behavior. I am a total dog lover, but I believe when outside your house (and not in a yard) that the dog should be leashed. This is for the consideration of others and helps PROTECT YOUR DOG.
Yeah, yeah you may say “My dog listens to me all the time”. Well, all the dog has to do catch a wiff of another dog, or see a squirrel and there goes your dog off running across the street on their adventure. Next comes a big speeding car or truck and your happy Fido is converted into roadkill-Fido.
Now, you may have the special Buddah-enlightend dog that will never wander but I’ve been around dogs my entire life (with some Saintly dogs), and even the most trustworthy ones will wander and NOT listen.
But again, I am surprised how a simple request for reasonable civil behavior angered so many people. I think EVERYONE here needs to take a few deep breaths and relax.
October 8th, 2015 at 2:16 pm
I think the irritation was directed at the fact that her letter was neither “a simple request” nor an example of the “reasonable civil behavior” she wants from other people. When I would like someone near me to do something, I wouldn’t write a nasty, condescending letter about it and then expect anyone to actually listen to me. If she wants people to be civil to her, she can be civil to others as well.
October 8th, 2015 at 4:44 pm
Yeah, the tone of the post was super-annoying, but the point is absolutely correct: put your dog on a leash anywhere that isn’t a fenced area for dogs (or, as someone mentioned, in the woods/country where you’re not going to run into other people/dogs). It’s really just the most obvious thing in the world, so no one should have to say it, in an annoying or any other tone, but apparently there are many stupid people around.
October 9th, 2015 at 12:40 pm
I think the problem here is that Jessica’s article was intended to address a valid concern in a sarcastic manner. If one did not realize that it was an intentionally sarcastic article then it could be mistakenly taken to be nasty and condescending. One commenter described the article as “snarky”. If we look up one definition of “snarky” we get:
snarky
A witty mannerism, personality, or behavior that is a combination of sarcasm and cynicism. Usually accepted as a complimentary term. Snark is sometimes mistaken for a snotty or arrogant attitude.
(from http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=snarky )
This is what seemed to happen with Jessica’s article.
But this has always been a problem with the written word. In normal conversion, speakers usually can give feedback (such as a silly smirk, eye rolling, goofy voices) so that the listener can interpret their speech as a joke. The speaker also has the capability to make very quick apologies as “I’m only kidding” if their comments are misinterpreted and they see the listener reaching for a very large and heavy crowbar. In television/cable/movies the “this is a joke” feedback is sometimes given with canned laughter or silly circus music.
So, I propose the following:
1) When writing a sarcastic article a special “this is a saractic/snarky article” font should be used. Some suggestions are Microsoft’s wingding, wingdong, ding-a-ling or dingdong fonts. The fonts should also be multi-color with totally mismatching colors. If possible, a tiny spinning photo of Donald Trump should be appended to the text.
2) ALL coffee shops in West Philly should be closed, the buildings totally removed and replaced by multicolored tents selling various types and grades of Cannabis. This would have the effect of making West Philly a more mellow neighborhood thus reducing untold aggravation and stress in those on caffeine overdose caused by reading sarcastic articles that forgot to use the correct font. This would also have the benefit of increasing the sale of Doritos in West Philly.
3) We all should attempt to remain civil in our comments and try to be as succint as possible and not to have a long rambling self-absorbed commentary that goes on and on without any clear direction of what it is saying and never stops making you wish you never started reading it, sort-of-like one of those 19th century novels with sentences that go on for pages and pages and make your head spin making you forget the name of the book you were reading – but then again at least back then the arthurs were betur righters and dident have tons ov stuipid typo errrros alle over da place like somewon hoo smoked two much canabissss. Is the Wa-wa still open? I need some Doritos … (For those that didn’t see the pretty pink and purple font on their computer, THAT was sarcasm!)
So really, in the scheme of it all, this all is nothing to get upset over. Try to enjoy yourself for life is too short to be miserable all the time. But please remember to keep your dog on a leash!!!
October 10th, 2015 at 6:18 pm
Sanctimonious self-congratulatory posts that strain to have power over others always end up being obnoxious and offensive, no matter which tone they try (see above). People who want to live in a sanitized, predictable, hellishly safe and familiar environment should move (back) to the suburbs, where everyone is pretty much on a leash and there are lots of chains (emotional, intellectual, and retail).
October 11th, 2015 at 3:04 pm
Jessica,
I loved your piece. It was funny. Additionally, I totally agree with you. Get that dog out of my face and on a leash!
October 12th, 2015 at 8:49 am
It seems that Jessica’s article was a major success. Even if you totally hated it, the article has us all discussing the issue of dogs off-leash in the Woodlands cemetery. A super polite (and boring) article would have been quickly forgotten. So, congratulations to Jessica for a job well done!
Finally, thanks to “Superiority Complex” for your brilliantly written sarcasm. Your posting is a wonderfully perfect example of self-referential sarcasm. I love the use of absolute statements (ie “always” in the first sentence) and forceful statements (ie “should move” in the second sentence). Really, it’s a great comment. You had me hysterical for 15 minutes. Thanks it made my day!
October 12th, 2015 at 9:59 pm
You have really raised the bar on this discussion, Barry. Go back to the suburbs and take Yoga Barbie with you.
October 12th, 2015 at 11:10 pm
All I can say Jessica is wow.
my roommate read this to me and we weren’t sure if it was a joke or a real expression.
Either way I laughed harder than I have in awhile and will have to read this again on rainy days!!
By the way I can’t believe such trash comes out of a yoga instructors brain sickening.
As for Clark park if you yuppies don’t like that dogs can run and play and be free then go to one of the other several parks where this isn’t the norm…or move way out to the burbs and save us from your whinning.
Meanwhile I’ll be running around with my pups not giving a shit what you think
October 13th, 2015 at 10:04 am
Jessica, given the Dogs Vs. Yoga divisions you’ve exposed above, you might be the Harriet Beecher Stowe of the impending white people civil war (first time as tragedy, second time as farce, etc.).
More importantly, thank you, Superiority Complex, for talking some sense. Take me, for instance. I love killing dogs. But whenever I kill someone’s dog, they’re all, “What the f*$%! You killed my dog!” And I’m like, “Um, hello, check your privilege. Maybe you and your bourgeois, ‘I would prefer that you not kill my dog’ attitude should go back to your air-conditioned, suburban nightmare.” Dogs are naturally intended to run off leash…and I am naturally intended to kill them. Stop harshing my freedom high, y’all.
See how that trick works.
October 13th, 2015 at 10:56 am
Haha, Madame Znobia.
October 13th, 2015 at 10:57 am
Every single day I walk my leashed dogs around Clark Park and the Woodlands, there are off-leash dogs coming up to mine. My dogs are pretty great in general, but they can be reactive because they are protective of me and my wife, which is one of the reasons why they are leashed (the other being the fact that both the Woodlands and Clark Park post signs saying dogs must be on leash). Another commenter above said the same. I’m following the rules. So don’t blame me when my dog bites your dog.
I also give kids in the park fair warning if they are running up to my dogs. I don’t do it to be an a**, but I want to make sure your kids aren’t hurt. My dogs are great, lovable creatures…as long as you leave them be 🙂
So I do get Jessica’s point. Does she have to be a b***h about it? Absolutely not. But really, it’s not hard to follow the rules. Sometimes rules are made to be broken, but sometimes, rules are just there to make sure we’re all ok. Your pup could be the friendly, greatest pup in the world…but you never know what others could be like.
April 26th, 2017 at 10:34 am
True true true! Too many dog owners are selfish, entitled and inconsiderate as heck and I absolutely don’t mind putting them to their place. Oh, and a lot of the posters above just prove the theory.